Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
