I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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