the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
