I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
