It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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