The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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