is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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