How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
