He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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