It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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