Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
