So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
