If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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