I feel great
I just peed on a car
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize