whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
