We're like a lot better than the average bears
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
