i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
