THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
