Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize