Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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