so explain again why im purple
no
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
