the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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