So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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