dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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