so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
