oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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