I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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