then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
