is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just google imaged poop.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
