I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
