what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
