I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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