Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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