Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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