I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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