Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
