there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
