hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
