I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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