we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
