we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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