just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
