She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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