awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
