I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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