I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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