We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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