i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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