he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
