At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
