Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just pynch a tree in the face
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
