found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
