I wanna bring you to show and tell
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
