let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
