Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize