you're like a bully in the Christmas story
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
