The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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