Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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