I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
