This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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