she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
