also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
